To everyone that reads this blog,
Congratulations, for this week only, my compilation is absolutely free! Just click on the link I have below and then download. Some of you are wondering why I have made my book this easy to get -- it comes down to just getting it out there. I want it to be out there and spark the curiosity and after all -- if you end up liking it and want it in paperback, you'd just have to order it.
This is my way of saying, "read before you buy". It is also because there will be a magazine version of it coming soon that has a vastly artistic rendition absolutely different from this one! This will also be the last version that will be under my real name before I officially change it under my pen name (and stage name) Ron Gunz.
So click on down and enjoy!
http://www.lulu.com/shop/ronnie-abimael-gonzalez/vol-1/ebook/product-20600698.html
Blogs by Ron Gunz
8.11.2013
Life after Brooklyn! Life starting in Tampa!
So it has been just a bit over a week since the big move from Brooklyn, NY to Tampa, FL and I have to say, much has happened in my move. For one thing, the weather is certainly different. From experiencing four seasons to just one, there is certainly a grand departure in that dynamic. NY gives you a bit of every kind of weather except for an actual hurricane.
In a two hour walk from one side of Hillsborough to another in Tampa, I experienced practically every form of weather I could be offered. I started with some hot and sunny weather to downright humidity, heavy dark rain to scattered showers to a conclusion by way of sunny and partly cloudy. I should be sick after that experience but I'm not. What should've been me walking into what is now my new work location all soaked and wet turned into me having my clothes instantly dried up by the sun, looking as though I didn't get drenched. Hurricane season is approaching as we speak so I'll fill you in first hand as to how I experience it.
Another thing I experienced was the change in commute life. 90% of the people here drive and God forbid they even move a damn muscle to exercise, even if it's a fifteen minute walk! On the upside, there's the HART bus transit, of which to my surprise kicks the MTA's rear end when it comes to bus service. Seeing me on a bus in Brooklyn was like a death wish because what should be a 10 or 20 minute wait for a bus turns into a 45 minute wait. HART buses estimate to 30 minutes per bus but I find it to be 25 minutes at best.
How about things available? Well, my friends, there's quite some variety. First of all, there is nature everywhere so you can throw out the concrete jungle environment. I also find that there's a food market with fresh fruits, veggies and meat 15 minutes away by foot, the DMV and the bus stop. Keep walking a little more, there's dollar stores, Burger Kings, Walgreens. On the very block where my job is located, there's a Babys R Us, a grocery store, a gym, Pizza Hut, Applebees, chinese, machu pichu restaurant and even a check cashing place. My reaction was, "Well, looks like I don't have much traveling to do!".
As far as the people, I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that people are genuinely nice. I'm used to kindness equating to fakeness or the setup for some scam or quid pro quo scenario but it isn't the case at all. When it comes to funny acting people, it's as simple as, "you leave me be, I'll leave you be", which I find to be very respectful and an unspoken ethic here.
I've seen palm trees, ponds, families of ducks going out on a family outing together, dragonflies, fire ants and lizards (no snakes yet). The sunrise and sunset is a beautiful sight. There are areas that remind you that you're in the south by the gritty look but many other parts, especially in the townhouse manor area I live in, remind me of Puerto Rico back in the 90s in layout and feel.
I am also still taken aback by pricing. I feel as though I died and woke up in paradise.
As for my people back in NY, I haven't forgotten about you. Some have this perception that because I moved and that I am enjoying my brand new life that I'm gonna just go amscray and leave people with this impression that NYers mean nothing to me but the truth remains that I still carry a ton of NY in my blood as well as in attitude. I do miss my friends and family, I just don't miss the over-saturation of police and the whole concrete jungle life, totally void of God's creation and natural life.
7.30.2013
Farewell New York City, hello Tampa!
The time for me to leave New York draws increasingly near much more than it did any other day -- and it's crazy! With my transfer to my job effective August 10th, it gives me time to explore and check out my new home -- in Tampa, Florida.
I think what's going to be interesting are a few things -- a new environment and the absolute removal from everyone and everything I've ever known. Think on that for a second -- Everyone you've bonded with, everyone you knew, loved, hated and embraced for 28 years were from New York and now it all ends. Gone will be all the skyscrapers, the dreadful MTA, the big presence of NYPD, the growing mass of bar/restaurants, the borough of churches (well, I may not miss that unless I need business in sales) but at least I won't be missing hipsters!
I am more than grateful for every last thing I did accomplish. I finished elementary, junior high, high school and community college. When things take their form, I'll wrap up my Bachelors but it will wait for now. I was in three bands and in each of them, I gained experiences of the learning kind, met different people of different walks of life and played in places I thought I'd never play at the time. I've played in churches, bars, lounges, parks and even prison. I wrote the three poetry books here in NY.
My dating life started and ended in NY. Every sexual experience I ever had, I did it all in NY and not ashamed one damn bit. I met my wife here. I conceived my kid here. I married my wife in NY.
My birth, growth, death and rebirth in spirituality all happened in New York. In the concrete jungle, I developed my faith in Christ, a love for his Bride and absolute disdain for corruption, hollow religion and falsehood. I learned in time, in a harsh way, that to truly fellowship with our Lord, you'd have to tear the walls down and get rid of the business model we've been attached to for centuries -- and that process, at most, will create alienation and even, for a season, create isolation but if you've learned anything from the Bible, quality men and women in God are formed in isolation but be aware of the hurting process. You get betrayed for going against the norm, criticized for criticizing and antagonized for questioning that which is worthy of discrepancy.
The bigger question now is, as Pillar's album says, Where Do We Go From Here? Honestly, my answer is being a husband and father. It's all about the adult life and responsibility. I have a woman and a kid all to me now to look out for, love and care for.
Also, in the meantime, I will finish my album, as it's about halfway done but knowing how I am, I may extend it to more than just 8-10 tracks and even extend it to two or three albums. I am also plotting to get into airbrushing soon as well as making some freehand art canvases.
To everyone that has been around since my lifetime in New York, I thank you all just for being there -- through thick as well as through thin. This chapter of my life closes and another letter opens -- just stay tuned as it begins to unfold.
Love,
Ronnie "Ron Gunz" Gonzalez
I think what's going to be interesting are a few things -- a new environment and the absolute removal from everyone and everything I've ever known. Think on that for a second -- Everyone you've bonded with, everyone you knew, loved, hated and embraced for 28 years were from New York and now it all ends. Gone will be all the skyscrapers, the dreadful MTA, the big presence of NYPD, the growing mass of bar/restaurants, the borough of churches (well, I may not miss that unless I need business in sales) but at least I won't be missing hipsters!
I am more than grateful for every last thing I did accomplish. I finished elementary, junior high, high school and community college. When things take their form, I'll wrap up my Bachelors but it will wait for now. I was in three bands and in each of them, I gained experiences of the learning kind, met different people of different walks of life and played in places I thought I'd never play at the time. I've played in churches, bars, lounges, parks and even prison. I wrote the three poetry books here in NY.
My dating life started and ended in NY. Every sexual experience I ever had, I did it all in NY and not ashamed one damn bit. I met my wife here. I conceived my kid here. I married my wife in NY.
My birth, growth, death and rebirth in spirituality all happened in New York. In the concrete jungle, I developed my faith in Christ, a love for his Bride and absolute disdain for corruption, hollow religion and falsehood. I learned in time, in a harsh way, that to truly fellowship with our Lord, you'd have to tear the walls down and get rid of the business model we've been attached to for centuries -- and that process, at most, will create alienation and even, for a season, create isolation but if you've learned anything from the Bible, quality men and women in God are formed in isolation but be aware of the hurting process. You get betrayed for going against the norm, criticized for criticizing and antagonized for questioning that which is worthy of discrepancy.
The bigger question now is, as Pillar's album says, Where Do We Go From Here? Honestly, my answer is being a husband and father. It's all about the adult life and responsibility. I have a woman and a kid all to me now to look out for, love and care for.
Also, in the meantime, I will finish my album, as it's about halfway done but knowing how I am, I may extend it to more than just 8-10 tracks and even extend it to two or three albums. I am also plotting to get into airbrushing soon as well as making some freehand art canvases.
To everyone that has been around since my lifetime in New York, I thank you all just for being there -- through thick as well as through thin. This chapter of my life closes and another letter opens -- just stay tuned as it begins to unfold.
Love,
Ronnie "Ron Gunz" Gonzalez
6.28.2013
History of my rig
I figured it would be fun to write about my history when it comes to my performing rigs -- whether it be for effects or even amplifiers or the combo of both and let me tell you, there's been a run of changes.
In 2002-2004, I had a Boss DS-1, a Crybaby and a Danelectro French Toast Octave Fuzz. It actually wasn't my favorite rig but it did the job I needed it to. I was just on a Squier Strat, mostly playing on 90's Peavey keyboard amps wherever I went unless a Roland Jazz Chorus was around. I always had the distortion effect on the French Toast rolled back because of the excessive distortion for what I was doing back then. My DS-1 was often with the Distortion rolled to about 45% and my Tone setting to the same. I always used the Crybaby strictly for some funky rhythms.
In 2006, my rig went through a big change. I had an Epiphone Les Paul Special II at the time and my Sinbiote. I switched the old Crybaby for the Dimebag Crybaby From Hell and the Morley Bad Horsie 2. The DS-1 left and I replaced it with the Digitech Bad Monkey and the Grunge pedal. I also included the BOSS CE-5 and the KORG AX3G. I would use these as a means to experiment and try different tones for punk, pop/rock, alternative, metal and prog stuff too. I was also using all this through an old Guitar Research acoustic amp that had built in phase and chorus (both on) while hooked to a Peavey 5150 4x12 cabinet. I eventually replaced that amp with the Crate Power Block in conjunction to the 5150 and that definitely opened more clarity and more messing around.
In 2008, my rig got through another big change -- no more half stack, hello to the Raven RG100 and my Audio Technica guitar wireless unit. I also eliminated all the pedal mess, replacing them with the Morley Mark Tremonti Power Wah and the Line 6 Floor POD Plus. By then, I also had my PRS SE Custom 22 and eventually the '85 Ibanez Axstar. It was only yet another big change.
Now we're at 2013, ended up losing the Tremonti Power Wah somewhere. I ended up getting the Crybaby 95Q which does the same I used to get out of the Bad Horsie 2 except being significantly slimmer in size. The Floor POD Plus is still in place and will always stick with it but now I may be adding the MXR Prime Distortion as a kicking boost for solos. The RG100 is gone, as is the Sinbiote and the SE Custom 22 but in addition, I have the Crunch Lab and Liquifire humbuckers on my Axstar and now I possess the PRS Mark Tremonti SE. I can honestly say that I enjoy the combinations I have now.
6.17.2013
Forfeiting titles -- Another thing I let go.
Another day drags on as I think about everything I left behind that I once had years ago -- titles. I look around and I see all my fellow Christians acting like they're on top of the world by calling themselves Evangelists, Pastors, Prophets, Apostles, Bishops, Reverends and so on. Don't get me wrong, I think it is wonderful when you find your calling in life and you live it out but I think it is quite a stretch to use that calling as a title as though you're trying to be extra special. There is a sense of pretention, arrogance and pride -- qualities of which Christ teaches against.
If I wanted to, I can go on about how in the early 2000's, I attended a Billy Graham seminary, certified and all, as it was about Preaching the Gospel during times of Crisis. As I have said in past entries -- I too was an evangelist under the Pentecostal's definition. You could also say I was also a teacher and more but none of these things mattered. Even being an active musician for churches, as well as ministry to outreach to people with God's love, I've played at churches, street church events, Riker's Island, bars, clubs, lounges and even McCarren Park. As Paul said, "but whatever gain I had I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ" (Philippians 3.7-8 ESV).
I have never been a fan of carrying titles as a Christian. It almost absolutely comes off as though people are trying to add an extra pump to their egos with that and yet again I say, it runs against the grain of humility that Christ teaches us as the standard. Jesus didn't run around going, "stand back, there's a Messiah coming through"! Sure, he did at times make the claims such as, "Bread of life" claimed whose "Yoke is easy and Burden is Light" and "The Way, Truth and the Life" but they were rare, usually among the closest thing he had to family -- his disciples. To everyone else, He simply was. That says a lot as to how we, his believers and followers ought to be -- don't talk about your credentials because there's plenty of people in the world talking about theirs. Live what you were taught and lead by example.
One last thing to bear in mind as well -- those titles and degrees won't mean squat when YaHWeH calls you unto account for what He called you to do. Jesus won't be your advocate then because He's gonna let His Dad get his judgin' on. Remember my fellow believers, walk in humility, demonstrate the example Christ has set before us, which is nothing short of love, light, holiness and humility.
Your friend,
Ronnie
If I wanted to, I can go on about how in the early 2000's, I attended a Billy Graham seminary, certified and all, as it was about Preaching the Gospel during times of Crisis. As I have said in past entries -- I too was an evangelist under the Pentecostal's definition. You could also say I was also a teacher and more but none of these things mattered. Even being an active musician for churches, as well as ministry to outreach to people with God's love, I've played at churches, street church events, Riker's Island, bars, clubs, lounges and even McCarren Park. As Paul said, "but whatever gain I had I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ" (Philippians 3.7-8 ESV).
I have never been a fan of carrying titles as a Christian. It almost absolutely comes off as though people are trying to add an extra pump to their egos with that and yet again I say, it runs against the grain of humility that Christ teaches us as the standard. Jesus didn't run around going, "stand back, there's a Messiah coming through"! Sure, he did at times make the claims such as, "Bread of life" claimed whose "Yoke is easy and Burden is Light" and "The Way, Truth and the Life" but they were rare, usually among the closest thing he had to family -- his disciples. To everyone else, He simply was. That says a lot as to how we, his believers and followers ought to be -- don't talk about your credentials because there's plenty of people in the world talking about theirs. Live what you were taught and lead by example.
One last thing to bear in mind as well -- those titles and degrees won't mean squat when YaHWeH calls you unto account for what He called you to do. Jesus won't be your advocate then because He's gonna let His Dad get his judgin' on. Remember my fellow believers, walk in humility, demonstrate the example Christ has set before us, which is nothing short of love, light, holiness and humility.
Your friend,
Ronnie
6.13.2013
My top favorite Overdrive, Distortion and Wah pedals
When it comes to overdrive pedals
1. Fulltone OCD
2. Ibanez Tubescreamer 808HW (the one that looks like a jolly green tank)
3. MXR Classic Overdrive
When it comes to Distortion
1.Bogner Ecstasy Red
2.Wampler Sovereign(ONLY because it has no boost button)
2.5. MXR Prime Distortion. Yes 2.5 because Wampler's absence of a boost button is the ONLY thing stopping it from first place.
When it comes to Metal Distortion?
1.Wampler Sovereign. Alright people calm yourselves. This guy can go from a subtle overdrive tone (that's okay) to a raucus and brutal metal sound.
2. MXR's Super Badass. It's the Wampler's little brother minus the bright/even and boost/standard switches.
3. Metal Muff. Even though it has a Top Boost, it's just that -- a Top aka Treble Boost. Not everyone that is solo hungry wants a top boost, they may just want to boost overall.
4. MXR's Fullbore Metal. It's good for metal but that's as far as it goes. Even with the Gate button activated, it's still a tad noisy in tone and even with the scoop button activated, the Trebles still sound scratchy.
For Wah pedals?
1. Crybaby 95Q. Clean or dirty, all the way or just a subtle touch, it sounds clean through and through and you can adjust the gain boost and the range.
2. Bad Horsie 2. Clean, it sounds good until it's fully pressed down, where you hear a slight bit of a scratch. Dirty? This thing kicks serious butt. The range from the Contour is ridiculous!
3. Dimebag Crybaby From Hell. Has all the range of the 535Q and like the 95Q sounds clean as can be when playing clean.
4. Mark Tremonti Power Wah. Has the cleanliness and the Gain Boost of the 95Q and its default range is only a tad short of the Bad Horsie 2.
5. Crybaby 535Q has the range the 95Q and Bad Horsie 2 possesses and has tone to made the wah deep or bright. It's problem is the same as the BH2 -- doesn't sound too clean when playing full cocked in clean.
6.06.2013
That Inner Sorrow
It stems from years of the favoritism, injustices, corruption and false Christianity that I find these days. I've become weary with grief at how the only thing that matters to some are just filling up four walls, singing all day and preaching to the choir -- meanwhile there are people needing help with poverty, abuse, injustice and disease. Too many leaders caring about how much money they can stuff themselves with and preoccupied with hi tech in presentation but so low tech in heart with all the things going on that their congregations are going through.
It stems from the disillusion of thinking I could ever see Christianity the way Jesus and his disciples taught it. I guess everyone likes the way it's business as usual and don't want to tear the system down. It you can't beat them, leave them and be among those who agree that the only solution is demonstrating Christ-like attitude at its core.
I miss my baby sister Bernice. It's been about 5 years. I'm still finding it weird that when I turn the curtain, she's not there reading a book with a funny face or being the only audience that'll laugh at my weirdness. Not much you can do I guess.
At least I'll meet some new believers in Tampa and I'll have my wife and my little daughter to keep me up and at least I'm not a golfer!
It stems from the disillusion of thinking I could ever see Christianity the way Jesus and his disciples taught it. I guess everyone likes the way it's business as usual and don't want to tear the system down. It you can't beat them, leave them and be among those who agree that the only solution is demonstrating Christ-like attitude at its core.
I miss my baby sister Bernice. It's been about 5 years. I'm still finding it weird that when I turn the curtain, she's not there reading a book with a funny face or being the only audience that'll laugh at my weirdness. Not much you can do I guess.
At least I'll meet some new believers in Tampa and I'll have my wife and my little daughter to keep me up and at least I'm not a golfer!
6.02.2013
Where do I fit Agape in life now? or Where does Agape fit me?
I woke up God knows how late. I think about 12pm or something similar to that frame. I look around and the first thing was making pancakes and working out in my balcony. Five sets of pushups, dumbbell flys and dumbbell presses, plus 160 crunches later, my head wandered towards sanding my Strat's body down. I remembered wanting to do a fresh hand-painted job on the whole left side of the body but for years never go to it. It's still a work in progress but I'll get there.
As 3 1/2 hours went by, I realized that not only did I miss fellowshipping with fellow Christians but that I'm in one serious spiritual pickle. Forget the concept of lacking a new challenge on my faith -- I'm talking about my conflict with fellowship.
For years, the thing I noticed the most is that most of my brethren in the faith, I have never actually developed a friendship with them so that my faith can grow. Part of it is due to my experience of how they will then try to puppet you into no longer being a human being and just doing fellowship in a building, nothing else. I always felt, in a sense, betrayed because the Bible teaches about fellowship being very family-like but I've never experienced any of that. All I've experienced was a lot of politicking, backstabbing of congregation members, myself and my family being one of those victims. I ask to hang out and instantly their agenda is church -- not having coffee together, jamming in a studio, hanging out like real people. I never liked the concept of relationships with my fellow Christians being that shallow. Don't get me wrong, I love talking about God and everything but I can't stand shallow relationships. I get bored very easily when it comes to people. We're supposed to be family, which means we challenge each other, grow with each other, love each other. I've experienced none of that.
One of the gripes that I find and will never let go, is the fact that people of my own faith have the audacity to separate everything else from your spiritual life. That's a red alert for hypocrisy, insincerity and even duality. If your soul and spirit are entirely separate from who you are in church, then who is that who goes to work and interacts with co-workers? Who's the person sitting in the classroom studying? Who's the artist creating music, drawings or paintings? If your spirituality is not in conjunction with every other fabric of who you are, there is a big problem.
I guess part of why I haven't been as adamant about fellowship as I once was is due to the terrible reality that I sat down and learned more of who God is and how Christian faith is supposed to work on my own than amongst others. No tracts, handouts, expositors or study guides. I sit on my own, pray to God and read on.
Life also rocked my mentality on fellowship. I never experienced much beyond the fellowship walls. Unless I told you what's going on, you'll never know. Most of my life, I was told that people are the enemy and that they only want what they can benefit from you with -- that's what my very self-righteous father always taught. Life also taught me that you can't always trust the pastor, the "angel" of the church. They'll be guiding you by the hand today and unquestionably backstabbing your father and making him look like a disgrace the next. You're fed sound advice today and later tonight, that same leader is doing double of what he's telling you not to do.
I once had a best friend who befriended me but because of who I am, would make it his agenda to change who I am. Once he saw that there is no changing me and that you must accept me as I am or beat it, he gradually turned people against me, played off as Mr. Righteous and before you know it, when his agenda elsewhere didn't go well, he went off on a drinking spree. I also am disgusted with condescending Christians who write you off without actually getting to know you one on one. Any little thing and they've already made up their mind about who you are. Never sat for dinner with you, visited a gallery, watched a movie, worked on something together or ever bothered to ask questions.
Ever since I was baptized, I questioned every last thing about my faith. Some places I got very comforting and affirming answers, others gave me even more questions and when it came to execution, doubt undoubtedly made itself known.
Do I believe in Christ? Absolutely. Do I believe in the Bride of Christ aka The Body? Not a doubt. So what's my problem? The Body doesn't resemble itself and I'm tired of it. I;m tired of being one standing alone against the monotony, the politics and falsehood it has become. When God said there will be a remnant, I definitely believe there will be one. Thankfully, all those phonies won't be a part of it.
As 3 1/2 hours went by, I realized that not only did I miss fellowshipping with fellow Christians but that I'm in one serious spiritual pickle. Forget the concept of lacking a new challenge on my faith -- I'm talking about my conflict with fellowship.
For years, the thing I noticed the most is that most of my brethren in the faith, I have never actually developed a friendship with them so that my faith can grow. Part of it is due to my experience of how they will then try to puppet you into no longer being a human being and just doing fellowship in a building, nothing else. I always felt, in a sense, betrayed because the Bible teaches about fellowship being very family-like but I've never experienced any of that. All I've experienced was a lot of politicking, backstabbing of congregation members, myself and my family being one of those victims. I ask to hang out and instantly their agenda is church -- not having coffee together, jamming in a studio, hanging out like real people. I never liked the concept of relationships with my fellow Christians being that shallow. Don't get me wrong, I love talking about God and everything but I can't stand shallow relationships. I get bored very easily when it comes to people. We're supposed to be family, which means we challenge each other, grow with each other, love each other. I've experienced none of that.
One of the gripes that I find and will never let go, is the fact that people of my own faith have the audacity to separate everything else from your spiritual life. That's a red alert for hypocrisy, insincerity and even duality. If your soul and spirit are entirely separate from who you are in church, then who is that who goes to work and interacts with co-workers? Who's the person sitting in the classroom studying? Who's the artist creating music, drawings or paintings? If your spirituality is not in conjunction with every other fabric of who you are, there is a big problem.
I guess part of why I haven't been as adamant about fellowship as I once was is due to the terrible reality that I sat down and learned more of who God is and how Christian faith is supposed to work on my own than amongst others. No tracts, handouts, expositors or study guides. I sit on my own, pray to God and read on.
Life also rocked my mentality on fellowship. I never experienced much beyond the fellowship walls. Unless I told you what's going on, you'll never know. Most of my life, I was told that people are the enemy and that they only want what they can benefit from you with -- that's what my very self-righteous father always taught. Life also taught me that you can't always trust the pastor, the "angel" of the church. They'll be guiding you by the hand today and unquestionably backstabbing your father and making him look like a disgrace the next. You're fed sound advice today and later tonight, that same leader is doing double of what he's telling you not to do.
I once had a best friend who befriended me but because of who I am, would make it his agenda to change who I am. Once he saw that there is no changing me and that you must accept me as I am or beat it, he gradually turned people against me, played off as Mr. Righteous and before you know it, when his agenda elsewhere didn't go well, he went off on a drinking spree. I also am disgusted with condescending Christians who write you off without actually getting to know you one on one. Any little thing and they've already made up their mind about who you are. Never sat for dinner with you, visited a gallery, watched a movie, worked on something together or ever bothered to ask questions.
Ever since I was baptized, I questioned every last thing about my faith. Some places I got very comforting and affirming answers, others gave me even more questions and when it came to execution, doubt undoubtedly made itself known.
Do I believe in Christ? Absolutely. Do I believe in the Bride of Christ aka The Body? Not a doubt. So what's my problem? The Body doesn't resemble itself and I'm tired of it. I;m tired of being one standing alone against the monotony, the politics and falsehood it has become. When God said there will be a remnant, I definitely believe there will be one. Thankfully, all those phonies won't be a part of it.
6.01.2013
Sheep in Wolf's Clothing?
The most random thing came to mind today -- people always have made use of the term, "a wolf in sheep's clothing" since God knows how long. Obviously, it is a reference to people who seem sweet, loyal and sincere on the outside but deep down they're like ravenous wolves, seeking to eat you alive and poison you with all sorts of evil. They're the kind that you stay away from but not sure when to do so until the shady attitude begins to unveil itself.
What about the "sheep in wolf's clothing?". These, in my mind, are the people that appear like trouble, total bad news and absolutely rotten but once you actually see what they're made of, they are the total opposite. They turn out to be the most sincere, loyal and most fun-filled characters in your life.
The two terms both collided in my head and oftentimes, I wonder if people are one of those two terms or if sometimes we impose these perceptions on people. What if the people we label wolf dressed as sheep are only that because of our perception in life because we grow afraid of being challenged no different than if those who are sheep dressed as wolves are only that because it's easier to label the misfit-looking person as unfit to our existence?
I think of it this way because I'm going to give two examples. There's me. For some retarded reason, by people of the same faith I identify myself with, I was somehow perceived (and still perceived) as a wolf in sheep's clothing based on my preference and approach on music, as well as how stark in contrast I've come to see things when it comes to faith and materialism. As a Christian, I do believe in following what Jesus Christ taught and lead the loving example he showed. Musical preference, in the end, is up to you. A distorted sound or a phaser sound or a wah sound will never make your music any holier or evil than hot sauce makes or breaks one's preference to how they want their chicken. I don't believe in the clothes makes the person anymore because when it comes down to it, if your dress code is your ministry, you should therefore pursue a career in fashion not in showing love, peace and joy of Christ to people. I draw cheap heat from fellow Christians for being real because I'm sorry, I'd rather be up front and real about my faith as well as in who I am than to play this dreadfully fraudulent act of perfect and squeaky clean Christianity because it's not real. If you are engaged with Christian faith, you will find that in spirituality and faith, there is a lot of messiness going on.
Then there's my best friend, Sid. People see him right away and they hide their kids, maidens, wives and so on. They perceive him as this Satan-worshipping, demon summoning, looking for trouble guy. The irony, of course, is that he's really damn far from that. He isn't summoning Lucifer to steal Kat Von D's soul so he may eviscerate her body, he doesn't call upon demons to kill off police nor is he looking for trouble with people. In fact, he is the most faithful friend around. He'll whack you upside the head for sense and hug you simultaneously. He'll listen to you, he'll eat, work out with you and sit and watch music videos, concerts and movies with you. He'll even sit and eat popcorn as your man-ger unfolds for his humor! He will also challenge people. He likes a great challenge because it gets him off the way Hitler got off from the Holocaust. The sad thing is that people point the finger at him all the time in scorn and partially that's why he despises 99% of all of Christendom. To think he too was a Christian.
So there you have it, you do have people who are wolves in sheep clothing, as well as sheep in wolf's clothing but there are times where the labels are stamped upon you based on perception rather than through deep understanding and reality.
What about the "sheep in wolf's clothing?". These, in my mind, are the people that appear like trouble, total bad news and absolutely rotten but once you actually see what they're made of, they are the total opposite. They turn out to be the most sincere, loyal and most fun-filled characters in your life.
The two terms both collided in my head and oftentimes, I wonder if people are one of those two terms or if sometimes we impose these perceptions on people. What if the people we label wolf dressed as sheep are only that because of our perception in life because we grow afraid of being challenged no different than if those who are sheep dressed as wolves are only that because it's easier to label the misfit-looking person as unfit to our existence?
I think of it this way because I'm going to give two examples. There's me. For some retarded reason, by people of the same faith I identify myself with, I was somehow perceived (and still perceived) as a wolf in sheep's clothing based on my preference and approach on music, as well as how stark in contrast I've come to see things when it comes to faith and materialism. As a Christian, I do believe in following what Jesus Christ taught and lead the loving example he showed. Musical preference, in the end, is up to you. A distorted sound or a phaser sound or a wah sound will never make your music any holier or evil than hot sauce makes or breaks one's preference to how they want their chicken. I don't believe in the clothes makes the person anymore because when it comes down to it, if your dress code is your ministry, you should therefore pursue a career in fashion not in showing love, peace and joy of Christ to people. I draw cheap heat from fellow Christians for being real because I'm sorry, I'd rather be up front and real about my faith as well as in who I am than to play this dreadfully fraudulent act of perfect and squeaky clean Christianity because it's not real. If you are engaged with Christian faith, you will find that in spirituality and faith, there is a lot of messiness going on.
Then there's my best friend, Sid. People see him right away and they hide their kids, maidens, wives and so on. They perceive him as this Satan-worshipping, demon summoning, looking for trouble guy. The irony, of course, is that he's really damn far from that. He isn't summoning Lucifer to steal Kat Von D's soul so he may eviscerate her body, he doesn't call upon demons to kill off police nor is he looking for trouble with people. In fact, he is the most faithful friend around. He'll whack you upside the head for sense and hug you simultaneously. He'll listen to you, he'll eat, work out with you and sit and watch music videos, concerts and movies with you. He'll even sit and eat popcorn as your man-ger unfolds for his humor! He will also challenge people. He likes a great challenge because it gets him off the way Hitler got off from the Holocaust. The sad thing is that people point the finger at him all the time in scorn and partially that's why he despises 99% of all of Christendom. To think he too was a Christian.
So there you have it, you do have people who are wolves in sheep clothing, as well as sheep in wolf's clothing but there are times where the labels are stamped upon you based on perception rather than through deep understanding and reality.
5.30.2013
Aizen Complex Today: Making you believe what you perceive
I love the Bleach anime. It's awesome for a few reasons --
1. It's samurai in nature -- from the garbs the Shinigami wear to the Society they live in beyond physical life.
2. Shinigami aka Death gods or Soul Reapers
3. Some interesting characters.
The one character that now catches my attention looking back is Aizen, the main antagonist in the first storyline. You see him at first and he comes off as this fair and very benevolent character -- very suave, graceful, gentle and kind. Then the random murders happen and all the chaos that ensues. You find out he's the villain all along. Each Shinigami has their own special ability. In Aizen's case, it's illusion. Every time he takes out his sword, whatever you perceive will be illusion. That means whatever conspiracy, whatever event, even whatever is presented to you (even victory), if he is behind it, you will only see whatever you want to see. He'll even make you perceive someone else's death as reality when in fact it is your own or of a person entirely different of the one you see.
With that said, I find myself in a similar dilemma with most people in life these days. I don't know if it's because I have little to no faith in people, wanting to protect myself or because people have really been reduced to a certain level of stupid. I make different people see different sides of me. It is rare that anyone sees all sides of me. At work, I'm the knowledgable, middle of the road guy that doesn't do office politics and has his mind on his job. In school, I was the quiet guy who just came to class and just did simply that. In fellowship meetings with Christians, I'm just the musician who has something to say once in a while, usually ignored and not leaving any curiosity behind. With my family, they just see me on my computer, playing guitar, video games, eating, laughing.
My friends? Oh they're my shrinks! They hear most of every last thing inside my head! I become this loud and maddening man-child that speaks out ideas and thoughts everyone else in my life wouldn't care to listen to me talk.
My wife? She discovers everything about me. My likes and dislikes, what brings me up, what drags me down, what gets on my nerves and what stimulates them, what imprisons me identity-wise and what calls me out from the shadows. I leave no stone unturned to my wife. If she sees something bothering me, she will know because I know I can tell her.
It's not ironic that to your closest allies and your significant other you can be totally yourself because you don't be judged. You can totally be you. It is ironic, though, that we're told to be absolutely ourselves to everyone yet because how you perceive the other audiences, you only let them see a part of it, which eventually they think is all of it.
One of my friends has friends that when they see me, they judge only by appearance and know so little of what's inside my head. Logic would tell you, "why not let them see who you really are" but reality will tell you that there are, in fact, people that don't always need to see the other side because if they judge you based on what they see and on their own mindset, you can't expect them to change their perception or mindset ever after they see the bigger picture of your identity.
I love Jesus. I love rock. I love metal. I love music. I love guitar, video games, comic books, movies of different kinds. I love sex, lots of it but I also love my wife for accepting me as I am, love my friends because they understand me and understand how I operate and how they can help me go beyond the usual. I love the artistry within tattoos. I also love crazy weird people. You know -- the goths, the satanists, anarchists and so on. Why? They're totally opposite of what I believe in and stand for.
This goes way back in high school. Here I was this typical well-mannered and sheltered Christian guy sitting 60-80% of the time with a table loaded with metalheads. We're talking guys and girls that were into Cradle of Filth, Marilyn Manson, Slipknot, Nine Inch Nails, Immortal, Venom, Celtic Frost, Rob Zombie and Motorhead. Mind you, to this day, out of those bands, the only band I have on my phone is Motorhead. These guys probably found it bizarre that I sat among them but I guess they saw I was with them the same reason why they were with each other -- I didn't exactly belong. I never felt like I belonged with my own Christian kind because I felt that 9/10 they were only interested in converting you and not so much getting to know you the way Christ wants us to come to know him.
I loved their company and yes, I laughed at some of the filthy jokes that went on for the simple fact that many times it was absurd. They weren't the demonic hellspawn they were painted out to be. I guess I never got ousted because I wasn't out to convert them but rather to get to know them as people and really get where they're coming from because everyone else only saw what they wanted to see or what they perceived as comfortable to see.
I think it's also the reason why sometimes at work or in fellowship I hold back from showing everything. It's the fear that if I showed them, I will either never hear the end of their judgments or I would be exploited and burned out by them to the point that once they got everything they could out of me, I'll be tossed out as nothing more than an expendable asset.
Thus I feed people an illusion and false perception of who I am unless their curiosity and personal interest drives them to see if maybe there's something else behind the curtain.
1. It's samurai in nature -- from the garbs the Shinigami wear to the Society they live in beyond physical life.
2. Shinigami aka Death gods or Soul Reapers
3. Some interesting characters.
The one character that now catches my attention looking back is Aizen, the main antagonist in the first storyline. You see him at first and he comes off as this fair and very benevolent character -- very suave, graceful, gentle and kind. Then the random murders happen and all the chaos that ensues. You find out he's the villain all along. Each Shinigami has their own special ability. In Aizen's case, it's illusion. Every time he takes out his sword, whatever you perceive will be illusion. That means whatever conspiracy, whatever event, even whatever is presented to you (even victory), if he is behind it, you will only see whatever you want to see. He'll even make you perceive someone else's death as reality when in fact it is your own or of a person entirely different of the one you see.
With that said, I find myself in a similar dilemma with most people in life these days. I don't know if it's because I have little to no faith in people, wanting to protect myself or because people have really been reduced to a certain level of stupid. I make different people see different sides of me. It is rare that anyone sees all sides of me. At work, I'm the knowledgable, middle of the road guy that doesn't do office politics and has his mind on his job. In school, I was the quiet guy who just came to class and just did simply that. In fellowship meetings with Christians, I'm just the musician who has something to say once in a while, usually ignored and not leaving any curiosity behind. With my family, they just see me on my computer, playing guitar, video games, eating, laughing.
My friends? Oh they're my shrinks! They hear most of every last thing inside my head! I become this loud and maddening man-child that speaks out ideas and thoughts everyone else in my life wouldn't care to listen to me talk.
My wife? She discovers everything about me. My likes and dislikes, what brings me up, what drags me down, what gets on my nerves and what stimulates them, what imprisons me identity-wise and what calls me out from the shadows. I leave no stone unturned to my wife. If she sees something bothering me, she will know because I know I can tell her.
It's not ironic that to your closest allies and your significant other you can be totally yourself because you don't be judged. You can totally be you. It is ironic, though, that we're told to be absolutely ourselves to everyone yet because how you perceive the other audiences, you only let them see a part of it, which eventually they think is all of it.
One of my friends has friends that when they see me, they judge only by appearance and know so little of what's inside my head. Logic would tell you, "why not let them see who you really are" but reality will tell you that there are, in fact, people that don't always need to see the other side because if they judge you based on what they see and on their own mindset, you can't expect them to change their perception or mindset ever after they see the bigger picture of your identity.
I love Jesus. I love rock. I love metal. I love music. I love guitar, video games, comic books, movies of different kinds. I love sex, lots of it but I also love my wife for accepting me as I am, love my friends because they understand me and understand how I operate and how they can help me go beyond the usual. I love the artistry within tattoos. I also love crazy weird people. You know -- the goths, the satanists, anarchists and so on. Why? They're totally opposite of what I believe in and stand for.
This goes way back in high school. Here I was this typical well-mannered and sheltered Christian guy sitting 60-80% of the time with a table loaded with metalheads. We're talking guys and girls that were into Cradle of Filth, Marilyn Manson, Slipknot, Nine Inch Nails, Immortal, Venom, Celtic Frost, Rob Zombie and Motorhead. Mind you, to this day, out of those bands, the only band I have on my phone is Motorhead. These guys probably found it bizarre that I sat among them but I guess they saw I was with them the same reason why they were with each other -- I didn't exactly belong. I never felt like I belonged with my own Christian kind because I felt that 9/10 they were only interested in converting you and not so much getting to know you the way Christ wants us to come to know him.
I loved their company and yes, I laughed at some of the filthy jokes that went on for the simple fact that many times it was absurd. They weren't the demonic hellspawn they were painted out to be. I guess I never got ousted because I wasn't out to convert them but rather to get to know them as people and really get where they're coming from because everyone else only saw what they wanted to see or what they perceived as comfortable to see.
I think it's also the reason why sometimes at work or in fellowship I hold back from showing everything. It's the fear that if I showed them, I will either never hear the end of their judgments or I would be exploited and burned out by them to the point that once they got everything they could out of me, I'll be tossed out as nothing more than an expendable asset.
Thus I feed people an illusion and false perception of who I am unless their curiosity and personal interest drives them to see if maybe there's something else behind the curtain.
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