So I sit here this afternoon, just taking in and let settle in a few things that are indeed real now -- I'm a husband to a wonderful wife, I am going to be a father and also that I'll be long gone from New York come August. It's all exciting but leaving New York, like legit leaving it, is a tiny bit scary. I was born, bred and raised here. This part of the world is all I never truly knew yet the time to fly is coming.
I sit back and I reflect on life in New York and everything I did or didn't accomplish. I went to public, intermediate and high school here. I went to college here. I have held some jobs here. I have family here but when you're married, it is no longer about you. It's about what is best for you and your significant other. When I remember how she came here thinking she would have a better life apart from Florida and only to experience grief and total struggle, I felt skeptical at first. I felt like maybe it's just her but if you take the time to search for yourself, you will find that New York really is a place of struggle.
Go ahead and look into Craigslist or even a local paper. $400-500 a month on rent...for a room that is not guaranteed to be private. If you want a decent apartment similar to what my parents have, you better have come to NY back in the 80's when there were many openings in the Lindsay Housing Cooperatives or even when there were more openings in housing projects. Now you have to wait and hope for years until someone drops dead or moves out for your turn in a waiting list to come through. You can also take a look at several families that are homeless now or bunched up with extended family because they get evicted after faithfully paying rent for over 20 years so that the landlords get to rent these apartments out for ab out 2-3 times the price to kids that get paid by their mom and dad, meanwhile working off the books and sometimes even on public assistance and food stamps.
When I found out that minimum wage is higher in Florida and that rent is cheaper and better spacing, it dawned upon me, "why am I even in New York?".
Then I remembered everything about success. Every person that has succeeded in NY came from outside of New York or left it and after garnering some success, found the right connections to come back and maintain that success here.
If you're born and bred here, I mean hey, look at me, I'm a musician that has only played at the most in front of 300 people and never made a dime as a musician. I am a writer of three books all of which people think it's too complicated to simply click the order now button on lulu just to buy a copy but want you to order bulk and buy it direct, all of which there is no guarantee with how cheap they begin to show themselves to be, not acknowledging that to do bulk order you have to shell out lots of money to get them. Yes, the artist has to invest to do a bulk order i.e. it costs me money to get copies to my mail. We artists don't get anything for free, at all! Let's also recognize that most graduates in NY that's I know got a job in something they didn't major in the first place because their dream job is not available. I mean, seriously, how do you bust your chops for sports and tv/radio only to end up being a director of video for a non-profit organization that only believes in giving raises to people that decide to move up as pastors, all of which they likely pick out according to what's fashionable to them. Where is the respect and honor that is due to those beneath you, striving for excellence in the hope of something better?
Let's also call into account busting your PR and ad chops with little income to get as many people to your shows as possible, whether it's flyers at your job, e-mailing, myspace, facebook, twitter, tumblr and even word of mouth...only to have barely ten people show up to support. Never met a single promoter, executive or manager of any type.
Thankfully, as I head to Tampa in August, I leave knowing that I can get a job transfer which is a means to an end to start somewhere. I'll have my driver's license before I'm there and money well-saved to get a house. I will miss the flashy lights and tall wonders that NY offers and the variety of things that are close by to each other but I sure as hell won't miss our excuse of a mayor who openly said that he "loves rich people" and that they, "are the ones that contribute to the growth of the economy". Am I missing something here Bloomberg? Aren't the rich the people responsible for driving out poor people that struggle night and day to provide? Aren't the schools full of children, majority of which are from the lower middle class? Last I checked, the rich don't do that much.
As far as spiritual ground, I do not know what awaits me down there. I have known people that have felt spiritual liberation down there but at the same token, others went down there to drown themselves in excess of freedom. If there is one thing I did learn growing up is this -- your roots are wherever you've made them to be. It possibly explains why I've never felt attached to any church all my life. I always felt like everything I learned and any growth I experienced it, I did so on my own. Hate to be blunt but I have learned more about faith and how it is in action apart from the four walls and even community. Some have likened their spiritual life with how they are in church and separate that from their "secular" life. I find that weird because your faith and what you make of it, if it is of value to you, ought to be reflected in your everyday living.
I have never seen myself an expert in anything but that which I have experienced and observed, I can speak out on. In the process, I have learned that in NY, the spiritual revolution that is constantly being spoken about mirrors how people are about change in the govt -- a lot of talk but no bite or action. You have people like in Iceland that took action. They didn't just flap their gums for attention. They were disenfranchised, disillusioned and angry about how their government treated their people and took action. They didn't just talk or merely "spread awareness". They took action. They saw an opportunity for revolution and did it to the t. It is my belief that if you are unhappy with "business as usual" in your church community, angry about a judgmental environment or tired of the same old routine, be the agent of change. Don't just talk or announce on it -- take action. Be the change you believe in or as Morgan Freeman from Bruce Almighty said, "Be the miracle".