I have been trying to wrap my head around the whole notion of fatherhood and marriage changing your life, mainly because I felt that despite all changes, I still felt very much the same. I guess you can say that after these past three months, I have to admit I have realized the difference.
There have been people, of which I'll never name, that I felt have either ditched me, backstabbed me or just downright left me hanging with a false sense of support. For years, I had it buried in my heart and dancing in the back of my head. When you look at the smiles of your wife and daughter when you come home from a long day at work or when you wake up in the morning, you realize that there are far more important things in your life now than the energy-consuming, soul-sucking things known as hatred, bitterness and grudges.
There's a Bible verse that I read today that reminded me of this. It's in Ephesians 4.31-32, "Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you".
With a wife as an anchor, of which you can depend on as support, floatation of love God has placed by your side and a daughter that reflects the wonderful elements of you and your spouse, all that crap in your head begins to mean nothing anymore. Lorimer is a intense reminder of that as well.
It isn't an easy process either. It's like changing a diet in a spiritual sense -- you're used to all the junk you love to eat but deep down you know it is downright bad for you, thus needing to replace with healthier alternatives and by God is it difficult. Cheesecake and I are like Winnie the Pooh and Hunny! Overtime, though, through solid discipline and healthy means of activity, you unlearn those things no matter how long it takes. I say this because overnight sudden changes are slim -- slimmer than a Slim Jim.