I'm just, warming up on my love seat after a zombie of a day at work, reflecting on some of the things that went down this year. Damn, it's been a drag of a year. Where to begin?
One thing's for sure, a lot. I witnessed a spiritual, emotional and mental breakdown. I finally saw the weight of sorrow that I bore crush the arms that held it. I had gone through weeks and months where I didn't talk to God much after seeing my best friend's injustices. I got fed up with having to worry about everyone's problems and sadness yet neglecting my sense of self-approval, validation and need of comfort.
Yet in the midst of collapse, I saw a new me awaken. I got to experience a re-engaging of my faith in Christ and a new perspective of my existence and the beautiful view of who, what and how the Church is meant to be on this crying planet. I found the closure to my sorrow, the shedding of my old nature. Although there are still pieces to shed, the ones that needed to be gone the most are gone.
I also found the new means of expressing my feeling and emotions via Blogspot. I also self-published two books (Taking Over Me and Walk This Realm), working on a third one and experienced an improvement on my graphical skills. I also managed to reconnect with some friends, make new ones and ultimate bring closer inside about forgiving others.
I also experienced a very bold reminder of how much God loves me. I don't have to understand Him and I'm fine with that. I know I may not have even gotten drenched in all of life's madness but I know what I've been protected from and what I've chosen to never dip into and glad every day that God has delivered me from many things. I can never answer the question of why the same card wasn't dealt to others because everyone is different and all our journeys have a different start to the story and some are similar. The question is, will we choose to meet God for the same desired happy ending?
I got to enjoy some good movies and endure some really s#!%%y ones. I also got to see Dark Tranquility, Killswitch Engage, Devil Wears Prada, Creed and Skillet. I got to review, analyze and enjoy new music.
As far as where God will take me in 2011, only He knows -- I just happen to have gotten a glimpse of what's in store...and that glimpse looks awesome.
One last thing I got to witness this year -- seeing the darkness and corruption that is subtly injected within American/global politics and the entertainment industry. I've realized how often we let ourselves be their puppets instead of being united voices of justice against corruption. Granted, some things must come to pass but never must be pass from this lifetime not standing for what we believe is righteous, pure, just, and loving.
Like every other year, '11 will be like water -- the slightest changes in time will alter what it will be. At least I can be still and know that despite all the changes, the unshakable will remain as is. So long as something is man-made or man-ordained, it will eventually crumble and fall but all that is made in purity, if you can choose to believe it, has its way of standing firm and never falter.
Blogs by Ron Gunz
12.16.2010
12.11.2010
01 - Christ State of Mind
This will be the first of three postings I will put towards the end of 2010. This one probably matters for me most.
Promise Christian Church has recently started a study about leadership and the part that stuck out to me most was when the point about a "Secret Place" came to mind. Some people discussed about a physical secret place, where you isolate yourself from the physical world and all its noise around you with the intent to just have one on one talk with God. Some others mentioned it as a level in their relationship with God where instead of addressing him with formal prayer or formal talk, you go and speak to him as though he, in fact were, your father, brother, best friend, etc.
If we're going to talk about the physical one, I must confess that within the past year or so, I have no physical secret place. I can't even be in the bathroom beyond five minutes without someone needing to iron their hair, needing to shave, etc.! But if we talk about being able to talk with God in a personal and intimate manner, that's something I can testify to. I have no problem at all in talking to God about it all. For goodness sake, don't you think that your very own Creator would want to hear every concern your heart contains?
I may not have gotten a physical secret place yet but I'll say this -- I found a mental one. There are time when, within a sea of people, my will shut away from everyone and I just zone in with God. God isn't just one who observes and looks into hearts, he searches your mind too. Why? If you want to talk about common sense, here's a good one -- a lot of decisions we make with our minds have the potential to alter your heart and what goes on there. Psalm 7.9, Philippians 4.7, and Revelations 2.23 all address on either God being one that searches our hearts and minds or encouraging the strengthening of it.
Last night, as I wound down to relax and retire, I entered that mental secret place and lemme tell ya, it was the best thing I needed to do. There have been a lot of thoughts, concerns and even some worries I needed to address and confess. There are no secrets between me and God -- there are none even if I wanted to. The important factor in actually addressing and confessing to Him, though, is that, even though He knows before you ever even vocalize it, there is power in actually letting it out. some people never filter anything and and always say what's on their mind and others bottle it up to the point that a poison begins to grow inside. I have been the latter but am learning to be the whole opposite with God.
When I got to that mental secret place last night, it was almost like entering the dream world in Inception. It was so intense and I went so deep, it stood constant when I went to sleep. Sometimes we knock out when we think and it's bedtime. Instead, I was still talking to the Almighty in my sleep. The atmosphere reflected what was on my mind and in the process, I saw something beautiful. It's this -- my past doesn't own me. My past hurts don't enslave me. My past sins no longer claim me. My exs sure as hell don't have a foothole in me. No curse will have a spell on me. If there's anyone or anything that does have ownership, it's God.
Twelve years ago, on a summer day, I was baptized. When I made the choice to become a Christian, it wasn't because of peer pressure, cultural reasons or because I knew He made salvation available to me. I did it absolutely because I wanted to see what He was made of. His Word talks about eternal purpose with humanity and talks about Him being amazing. This was my moment to say, "Hey Jesus, you say you're all of this? I jump in here now, be ready to show me how great you are!"
I assure you, he doesn't disappoint. There are a number of experiences I can share with you all of things He's done and ways He's shown how real and in control He really is despite everything we can be blinded to think.
There is a gap that man often forgets that there is between his state of mind and God's. It's called infinite. Our minds are limited, finite, extends only so far despite everything we do to try and make full use of it. God's, however, has no limit and has absolutely infinite wisdom and understanding. We humans often try to make sense of God and try to make sense of everything and try to put all things, even God, in a box. Now, don't you think that God, being infinite in wisdom and understanding, because he has no limit to thought and rationale, knows why certain things have a way of functioning? Because He's infinite in knowledge, don't you think, therefore, that He knows why He can't answer all our prayers because of every slight calculation, every slight machination and deviation that it can trigger and whether long-term or sort-term, can slightly make the biggest impact in the universe that is your soul?
I can never fathom the absolute of His mind and heart but I understand that He knows how the world works beyond the understanding any mortal being can even contain. This is why trying to apply God to our definition of justice, love and mercy will always fail. You cannot put a limit on God. You cannot box a being that is even beyond your power. He simply will never play by your rules. In this, I'm fine with God not being fair. I'm fine with not fighting God. I will never question His authority and power for the simple fact that He actually knows how the universe functions and what slight changes can actually impact my life ina dramatic way, even in the slightest.
Promise Christian Church has recently started a study about leadership and the part that stuck out to me most was when the point about a "Secret Place" came to mind. Some people discussed about a physical secret place, where you isolate yourself from the physical world and all its noise around you with the intent to just have one on one talk with God. Some others mentioned it as a level in their relationship with God where instead of addressing him with formal prayer or formal talk, you go and speak to him as though he, in fact were, your father, brother, best friend, etc.
If we're going to talk about the physical one, I must confess that within the past year or so, I have no physical secret place. I can't even be in the bathroom beyond five minutes without someone needing to iron their hair, needing to shave, etc.! But if we talk about being able to talk with God in a personal and intimate manner, that's something I can testify to. I have no problem at all in talking to God about it all. For goodness sake, don't you think that your very own Creator would want to hear every concern your heart contains?
I may not have gotten a physical secret place yet but I'll say this -- I found a mental one. There are time when, within a sea of people, my will shut away from everyone and I just zone in with God. God isn't just one who observes and looks into hearts, he searches your mind too. Why? If you want to talk about common sense, here's a good one -- a lot of decisions we make with our minds have the potential to alter your heart and what goes on there. Psalm 7.9, Philippians 4.7, and Revelations 2.23 all address on either God being one that searches our hearts and minds or encouraging the strengthening of it.
Last night, as I wound down to relax and retire, I entered that mental secret place and lemme tell ya, it was the best thing I needed to do. There have been a lot of thoughts, concerns and even some worries I needed to address and confess. There are no secrets between me and God -- there are none even if I wanted to. The important factor in actually addressing and confessing to Him, though, is that, even though He knows before you ever even vocalize it, there is power in actually letting it out. some people never filter anything and and always say what's on their mind and others bottle it up to the point that a poison begins to grow inside. I have been the latter but am learning to be the whole opposite with God.
When I got to that mental secret place last night, it was almost like entering the dream world in Inception. It was so intense and I went so deep, it stood constant when I went to sleep. Sometimes we knock out when we think and it's bedtime. Instead, I was still talking to the Almighty in my sleep. The atmosphere reflected what was on my mind and in the process, I saw something beautiful. It's this -- my past doesn't own me. My past hurts don't enslave me. My past sins no longer claim me. My exs sure as hell don't have a foothole in me. No curse will have a spell on me. If there's anyone or anything that does have ownership, it's God.
Twelve years ago, on a summer day, I was baptized. When I made the choice to become a Christian, it wasn't because of peer pressure, cultural reasons or because I knew He made salvation available to me. I did it absolutely because I wanted to see what He was made of. His Word talks about eternal purpose with humanity and talks about Him being amazing. This was my moment to say, "Hey Jesus, you say you're all of this? I jump in here now, be ready to show me how great you are!"
I assure you, he doesn't disappoint. There are a number of experiences I can share with you all of things He's done and ways He's shown how real and in control He really is despite everything we can be blinded to think.
There is a gap that man often forgets that there is between his state of mind and God's. It's called infinite. Our minds are limited, finite, extends only so far despite everything we do to try and make full use of it. God's, however, has no limit and has absolutely infinite wisdom and understanding. We humans often try to make sense of God and try to make sense of everything and try to put all things, even God, in a box. Now, don't you think that God, being infinite in wisdom and understanding, because he has no limit to thought and rationale, knows why certain things have a way of functioning? Because He's infinite in knowledge, don't you think, therefore, that He knows why He can't answer all our prayers because of every slight calculation, every slight machination and deviation that it can trigger and whether long-term or sort-term, can slightly make the biggest impact in the universe that is your soul?
I can never fathom the absolute of His mind and heart but I understand that He knows how the world works beyond the understanding any mortal being can even contain. This is why trying to apply God to our definition of justice, love and mercy will always fail. You cannot put a limit on God. You cannot box a being that is even beyond your power. He simply will never play by your rules. In this, I'm fine with God not being fair. I'm fine with not fighting God. I will never question His authority and power for the simple fact that He actually knows how the universe functions and what slight changes can actually impact my life ina dramatic way, even in the slightest.
12.02.2010
Back/Biceps/Legs workout
Well, while my remainder of a workout didn't turn out as planned, that doesn't mean it wasn't a heck of a workout. Listed below is the workout I had today.
Elliptical - 5 min, 50% resistance
Leg Press - 5 sets, 10-15 reps
Deadlifts - 4 sets, reps - 10-15 reps
Leg Extension - 4 sets, reps 10-15 reps
Bend Over Barbell Rows - 4 sets, 10-15 reps
Hip Adductor - 4 sets, 10-15 reps
Lateral Pulldown - 4 sets, 10-15 reps
Dual Action Leg Press - 3 sets, 8-10 reps
Bicep Curls - 4 sets, 15 reps
Roman Chair - 4 sets, 10-15 reps
rest between sets - 30 s-1 min
Elliptical - 5 mins, 20%
, 100%
, 5%
, 75%
, 5%
3 mins 30s, 50%
workout music - In Flames, Dethklok, Disturbed, Killswitch Engage, The Showdown, Metallica
Elliptical - 5 min, 50% resistance
Leg Press - 5 sets, 10-15 reps
Deadlifts - 4 sets, reps - 10-15 reps
Leg Extension - 4 sets, reps 10-15 reps
Bend Over Barbell Rows - 4 sets, 10-15 reps
Hip Adductor - 4 sets, 10-15 reps
Lateral Pulldown - 4 sets, 10-15 reps
Dual Action Leg Press - 3 sets, 8-10 reps
Bicep Curls - 4 sets, 15 reps
Roman Chair - 4 sets, 10-15 reps
rest between sets - 30 s-1 min
Elliptical - 5 mins, 20%
, 100%
, 5%
, 75%
, 5%
3 mins 30s, 50%
workout music - In Flames, Dethklok, Disturbed, Killswitch Engage, The Showdown, Metallica
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