Symbiote

Hey guys,

It's been a while as I've been working full-time (and loving it). Meanwhile, I've continued writing 4 and I must say, the story is taking an interesting turn. Within the past few weeks, I found myself needing to break from certain ties that were close to me as a means to regain who I'm meant to be and pick up in my life where I left off. By no means is there an absence of appreciation for people that have come to my life, for good or ill will but sometimes, just sometimes, you have to break away as a means to see the bigger picture and see where you need to pick up the ball at again.

So what is it like to ride this journey, in some sense, alone again? Refreshing. Why? I needed to be reminded of who I am. Nothing irked me a bit more than to hear my family, friends and even co-workers say that I have not been myself -- that I've turned from cheerful to brooding, from bright and sunny to dark and dreary, from positive to absolutely negative. Heck, I was told that I was slowly becoming an arse and even a douchebag. A good sister in Christ of mine even pointed out that I have become distracted and unfocused. Heck, an ex-girlfriend (but a very wonderful friend) told me I needed to return to my first love (hinting at Christ).

So what do I think? I agree with all of them. Forget falling. I suffered a deafening crash. I felt it most when one of my childhood friends caught up with me and asked what had happened to me that I'm not the same amazing friend he once knew. I couldn't help but wonder if it's true. When I took a back seat by cutting a particular tie, as rash and in the cruel manner that I did, I found this to be true.

My faith had become but a mere ember. My hope is running on life support and everything that made me the man everyone would love was turning into a shell of himself. I hate it and am doing all I can to regain myself. If it meant taking a step back, so be it. I cannot allow the stresses of another soul's life, worries of a long-term commitment going dry and the pressure of keeping my cool leech onto me like a symbiote did to Spider-Man.

It's been a week and my smile is returning, my faith is crawling back to life and it's easier to be me again. It's become easier for me to stay cool and get focused. I still have my moments but I'm getting better at handling things. While at times I try to peek behind, I keep moving forward. The one thing that bothers me is how I forget that humans suck amazingly at forgiving and forgetting. While I've learned to forgive and let go, it takes time. Even though you and another person that you either offended, offended you or both may forgive each other, the pain itself remains and whomever else is close by will have their trust violated and in their eyes, you are the villain and vice versa. For me? I just let go and that's it. No use fighting, justifying, crying, whining, pissing, moaning -- I just forgive, let go and just let God's love handle the rest. When thinking about these things, here's the following phrase that echoed in my head today --

"When you begin to wish death upon someone who's wronged you, there is seriously something wrong with you"

Busy October!

Hey guys! I know it's been a while since I wrote something but hey, I'm back. As of late, I've been busy working extra hours, spending time with some friends and checking out some new stuff.

Two days ago, I got The Secret by Antonio Banderas in the mail and let me tell you, it has a very subtle yet sensual smell. I took a good wiff and I was like, "sssss--mmmmm-mmm!". I also recently got back into taking some Dymatize Elite X protein for post-workout. Sure, the taste is a tad chalky but it does the job and keeps me full.

Soon, I'll be ordering my custom set of strings from nakedstrings.com and I'm excited. Don't get me wrong, I've always been an avid fan of Dunlop's Heavycore or Zakk Wylde's custom heavy, Ernie Ball's Skinny Top Heavy Bottom or even the GHS Heavyweight. Nakedstrings, however, offer you the chance to set up custom gauges (to a fair extent) for your 6/7 string, baritone guitars or even 4/5/6 string basses. The prices, I must say, unbeatable! With a deal of buy 2 get 3 free for less than $20, I'm not one to complain.

I've also recently got Almost Christian by Kenda Creasy Dean in the mail. So far, it is an interesting read as it engages a research done in regards to teenagers in America and how they are the barometers of where we are, where we've been and where we could be headed when it comes to the matter of faith, devotion and commitment. I find it interesting how, upon reading it (although only at commencement), I can't help but agree with how there is a counterfeit Christianity on the rise. It dresses, has a similar voice and walk of Christianity but upon closer examination, it is nothing more than Alister Crowley's, "Do what thou wilt" philosophy with a Christian mask. It has reduced Jesus from Lord to freaking Ned Flanders or worse -- Jesus from South Park! It confirmed my suspicions because, while growing up, I was taught that yes, Christ is our best friend, love incarnate and the lover of our souls but He is also Lord and King. To not acknowledge his lordship and sovereignty and only accept his benevolence is to only know God in part. This is only scratching the surface of the book as I'm not even 40% through it.

I also got Heart of the Artist by Rory Noland as of late. I've yet to give it a good read yet but I will surely deliver in-depth reviews in bursts about it.

Walk This Realm's material is finally complete! After Lord knows how many months, I finally managed to hit that 80-page mark and move forward. Now it's a matter of doing some detailed editing and it will be up on lulu.com!

You must be wondering, "Ron, have you had any of those self-realization moments to write about"? The answer is no. This time, I won't be making any life observations and what have you.

Gears of War 3 is, in my opinion, the sharpest 3rd person shooter of all time (so far). Army of Two has yet to catch up and the rest of the shooting genre is too far up the arse of 1st person shooting to realize that there's a titan of shooting that gracefully sweeps many gamers off their feet. Simply put, a leeching thing called the Lambent is infecting Sera and is slowly killing it off. In the process, it's forcing the Locusts out into the open and getting infected by these glowies. Furthermore, humans have been found infected and controlled. The resolution? Activate the Hammer of Dawn to kill the Locust Queen and activate a generator that will wipe out all Lambent parasites. The problem? It will kill off all Locusts! Marcus Fenix's dad had tried hard to come up with a solution for both humans and Locusts but unfortunately, the solution only benefited the humans. The messed up part? This planet is the safe haven of humans and the territory belongs to the Locusts! The story is concise as well as direct. The gameplay is smoother, tighter and practical and the visuals are great.

Now what do I think about the current state of wrestling in WWE? I'd say it's looking great. I like Sin Cara as well as Mistico (the fake Sin Cara), Mason Ryan reminds me of a greener Batista in the making, CM Punk continues to deliver in the ring as well as on the mic and Air Bourne never cease to catch my attention. The current storyline with Triple H as COO is solid and with HHH still able to deliver on the mic, things are a balance of the new and old. My favorite moment this week? Seeing Big Show chokeslam Mark Henry through an announce table! That, my friends, is the stuff wrestling is made of!

With summer over, fall in full gear and all else going on, this is Ron Gunz signing off!