"Tests are so effective in life since they reveal the “who are” as well as the “who are not”! Make sure to let go of the “who are not” for the reason that they will hinder the ones “who are” to be in your life. Remove yourself from those that have a negative mentality. Encircle yourself with people who strive to move forward with a positive vision!" - Pastor Angel Muniz
Upon reading this post of my friend, something lit up inside of me. You can say it lit up a spark inside of me. Most of this is due to the fact that not only did it hit home when it came to my social circle but also hit me on a personal level. It hit very hard for a few reasons.
Let me first throw in the personal aspect of it. Tests tend to unveil who you are and the contrast from who you aren't. It begins to start bringing you to a situation where you are to decide and resolve but faced with choices that are and/or aren't characteristic of you. Whether it be the death of a loved one, financial issues, heartbreak, betrayal from friends and family or even the sense of being used -- each situation puts you, in better words, in mini-crossroads. There are times where you are faced with choices and sometimes they are simple but sometimes a royal pain. There is, though, another aspect to see. Sometimes, the situation will call out the possibility of who you can be that you never thought you could. It may not always be what you think is best at the very moment but it will push you stretch beyond yourself and for better term, evolve.
People who are runaways eventually either will keep running until they are done or until they learn to face the demons they run from and conquer them. People who dance in the rain will eventually grow weary and the rain will wear them down like hails made of stone -- they eventually will have to learn to be like the earth, take in the rain and grow like a plant rooted in soil. Once the storm and rain are done, the sun will come out and help balance all else for that plant to bloom and appear.
If you are constantly being broken and torn apart, learn something from physical fitness -- when you lift weights, muscle fibers are being torn to bits and broken down, hence the soreness at times. When we are broken down, the process is a means to come back stronger. Sometimes it is frustrating because the brokenness is so constant that you become numb and feel you won't get a chance to breathe. Sometimes it requires a time of reflection to breathe, take it all in and replenish. There's a reason why boys drink milk and men eat meat -- the 8g of protein won't stack up to the 25-35g you'll get from a chicken breast for your muscles to recover! In moments of brokenness, feed from it and you will return stronger. Don't sit, mope, whine and cry -- feed from it!
I feel now I should bring out how I agree with Muniz's statement from a social perspective. When things hit the fan in your life, you find yourself seeing people's true colors. You discover who are intentional users and abusers, leeches of your energy, total ingrates and those guilty of fraud. In the process, you also discover who your true friends are. You discover who will stick around at all times and not just when they need something or if they stick around because they know they will get something out of it. It is sad that many are always awaiting for something in return from the person they help instead of having the thank you and the personal sense of gratitude being enough but hey, nobody ever said that tests and trials won't unmask people. The tests will also separate the men from the boys, girls from the women, the spiritually ardent from the religious and the sheep from the wolves.
I will conclude with a personal, little experience. At one point, I was in a slightly rough patch where I was called "dead weight". For months, I had leaned into feeling that way, as the person's frustration resulted into channeling it out on someone who was actually helping them level their turmoils. Another person had reduced me from best friend to a "loser", nullifying and negating everything I had ever been to them or done for them. That can be a dung load for anyone in my shoes. My choice? Abandon them. When people do not appreciate you, that unmasks the liars, manipulators and hypocrites that they are and you are left with two options -- 1. You stick by them in false hope of them apologizing and making it right, knowing they will abuse your kindness repeatedly or 2. You cut them off and make them acknowledge that in all honestly they were the dead weight because instead of displaying gratitude, honesty and sincerity, all they saw in you was an asset, an object and a means to their personal agendas, not ever considering for five seconds about your personal needs and feelings in the process.
In the words of CM Punk, "PIPE BOMB!"