I was always told the usual, "Tell me who you walk with and I'll tell you who you are" phrase. The other way of saying that you would be guilty by association. For the most part, that never applied to me unless I was around Christians. I'm that guy that would be sitting in a table one day with goody good Christians and the next with old school hip hop artist aficionados and before the week was out was either with the goth/black/death metal folk or even the nerds. Those goth and metal kids used to look at me weird because here I was, semi-dressed up, occasionally reading my bible, listening to my music, writing my poetry and just chilling with them. I remember at one point they wondered if I was going to try to convert them or try to get all Jesus on them. The harsh truth is, I wasn't and I didn't. I was never ashamed about my faith, I just felt like you can't just go and talk about Christ to people that don't know you. I felt that there needed to be a relationship to be established, as people. Neither did I force my beliefs on them and if they wanted to know something, I had no problem being open about it. For crying out loud, I gave a kid the only copy I had of Skillet's Alien Youth album and he stopped following Satanism somehow. Whether he became a Christian or not, I would never know but for sure but to know that he distanced himself from that cult meant something.
In the process, I often found myself become great allies with fellow teens that were also involved with the occult. At no point did I ever use those opportunities to hammer down what's wrong with their view, if there were any wrong. I felt that before you say something or make a counterpoint, you need to hear the other side. One thing that they all got mad about -- it was seeing me with other Christians. Their problem wasn't with my faith. They were all able to identify and say that I was fair with them, showed them Christ-like love, a sense of non-judgmentalism, let alone the fact that I believed (and still believe) that judgment is in God's hands, not mine. At no point was I running around smoking weed, having wild sex with any girls (even though there were a few offers), getting wasted or being an idiot with my authorities or teachers. I had an amazing camaraderie with metalheads (of which I still do) and there was always good fun among us. I respected them and in turn they respected me. What they couldn't understand was how I could get along with a lot of the Christians I was around. I can understand why though. At least half of them were very much all about themselves and cared little about anyone that wasn't a Christian and acted as though they were lower than them -- all calling cards of Pharisees, groups of devoted religious men that Jesus didn't like very much. However, there were a few that, like me, learned to be able to be around my metal buddies and just be loving with them and with that love, give them that optional possibility that perhaps Christianity could not be equated with elitist behavior -- the kind Peter would be scolded for by Paul over.
As time went on, I also started reading into the Gospels more and saw how Jesus treated everyone around him, regardless of their faith or lack thereof. I also would read what Paul would say about conflicts with people that were trapped into their own vices and sin. Jesus didn't judge too much but sure had no problem doing that to Pharisees and Sadducees because of their hypocrisy and their false sense of justice. He always had tax collectors, fishermen, commoners, his mom, his brother, a woman that was once possessed by demons around. Jesus didn't always tell them repent and then follow. He simply said, "follow me". What also struck me was that when it came to sin, he was simple about it when it came to people he showed mercy to, "go and sin no more". Didn't tell them repent or burn he simply said to go and sin no more. It was as though he simply wanted to tell them that they are not obliged to be enslaved by the vices that could tear their lives apart.
As for Paul? He did address how Christians ought to go about correcting each other and helping each other and that if even if the person's issue got to a congregational scale of confronting and he/she refused, to just treat them as though they were an unbeliever. Now what does this mean? Remember what Jesus said, "By this they will know that you are my disciples, that you love one another"? If showing that love is what brought them to know Christ and everything, then continue in that. Whatever their choices are, respect them and just love them. Should they want to pick up the ball and resume in their walk in faith, then by all means re-embrace them and help them. No judging, no pointing of fingers, no showcasing. Just welcome them and be with them.
With these wonderful things I acknowledged and embraced, I found myself in opposition to my own kind. They were distancing themselves in suspicion that I may be leading a double life -- in church praising God with my voice, preaching, singing and guitar but outside of the church womanizing, seducing, drinking, smoking, partying and causing trouble. To this day, I laugh loudly at this because I did none of those things. Then again, they probably didn't like the fact that I would oppose how they condemned people of their appearance or musical preferences by picking out how could they judge people on that if they're not doing them wrong meanwhile they, the accusers, are condemning left and right, meanwhile cheating on their husbands or bfs, cursing up a storm that would make a clown frown and politicking in church, creating cliques? I'm sorry but I oppose all social injustice.
As I decided to read further and further in the Bible, I found that Jesus talked about people not needing a place but rather spirit and truth in worship. I understand that very much as worshiping God with our lives. I found myself reading a lot of online articles that talked about worship life and little to even none spoke about singing in church and in some cases prayer (although the latter is supposed to be an essential thing). Almost every time, the articles spoke out on how are you living your life. Are you honoring God with your job performance, with how you treat your friends, your wife, girlfriend, bandmates, family, etc. How you treat every fabric of your life would reflect your relationship with God, as most of these articles put out.
To be honest, as time moved on. It made that much more sense. Think about it -- every church friend I had, we only hung out in church or in other churches. It was very rare that we went out to a movie, bowling, pool, play video games together, walk the Williamsburg Bridge, hang out in each other's houses or even talk about the problems we go through outside. In essence, we were total strangers. 9/10 of the Christians I know, I know very little about what they go through, meanwhile I was always the one wanting to deepen that friendship and make it something more than this artificial crap.
Then back in 2009, my church attending dropped significantly. No one in church did any wrong to me at that time. I simply stopped showing up. I had lost interest. I stopped trying to create friendships that would never develop. People would ask for me but I'm like, "hey, you wanna know what's going on, just call me". I'm a simple person at that. I also witnessed my best friend being judged about his situations and battles. It is in the best interest of a quality Christian to offer help, not tear a person down. I also ended up wondering what the whole point of church was if, as a community, we put on fake smiles, do business as usual and don't even have a real relationship with each other? I stand strongly with the ideal of Christian community being a family-driven environment -- where we help, love, cultivate and generate positivity, strength and belief in making the best of each other with the intent of using the best of ourselves to reflect God's amazing and creative nature. I never saw any of that. To this day, I strongly believe that mainstream Christianity is seriously lacking what made 1st Century Christianity, even with its quirks, so beautiful -- they ran against the grain of political and social injustice in Rome, they stood to help each other and show love to one another and I guess the family environment they would situate themselves in empowered all of that.
I look at Christianity today and I shake my head. We have become imitators of corporations, want to be different but celebrate important events on the same days as pagan holidays, which is no different than how 3rd-4th century Christians would build on top of pagan shrines and grounds instead of building fresh from the ground up. Didn't they learn anything from Jews? You break that place down to nothing and then you build something new! When Jews get new turf in Williamsburg, whatever was there, they demolish it from the very root up and build everything, even the foundation, fresh and new.
To me, I honestly can't walk into a church anymore comfortably, knowing that all this fake-ness is going on. It bothers me that people are comfortable with not having a genuine family environment -- where church life doesn't need a building to interact and come alive and where all you need is each other. Last I checked, Jesus said, "where there are two or three in My name, I will be there". That tears the myth of needing a building to meet. If you want to get technical, you can go on and say that you have some church going on the second you're spending time with two or three Christians. You don't need a huge building to do that.
I feel as though mainstream Christianity did the same as Israel. Israel said, "We want a king just like everyone else!" and the bulk of Christians ended up saying, "we want pretty buildings like everyone else!". To think that Christianity had way more impact and power when they didn't have all the luxury they have now. I also find it shocking how they care more about mega-church than they do mega-ministry. Jesus, as the Son of God, could've gotten his way and been dirt rich but no, even with his earnings as a carpenter, his living situation was very simple and dedicated his means to helping those in need and even then, sometimes He did things without needing money.
And this is just the tip of the iceberg!