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5.19.2013

In the Darkness

"For you are all children of light, children of the day. We are not of the night or of the darkness." - 1 Thessalonians 5.5 (ESV)

       As a follower of Christ in my own right, I have struggled with this Bible verse. It is for a very solid reason -- the night is where my strength is drawn from. By day, I struggle to do things but as soon as night falls, my energy returns. On a day of no work (and no work the next day), I can prowl the night until sunrise. Even for sleep, I need darkness to sleep peacefully.

       I find daylight irritating. Every time I see it, my first reaction is, "Where's the moon, I can't deal with all this light in my face". Every time I want to do things, it's always at night but most people are either sleeping or if not in bars or clubs, places I care less to go to. Let's also include that most places are closed after 9pm-11pm.

       It's quite the struggle for me because when I do want to show up to church, I wish for them to be open at 1am for me to isolate myself from the world to pray. When I desire to write, draw or record, all of my energies kick in about 1:30am. The only reason I work by day is because all my pleasurable desire comes out at night and I don't want to spend my precious energy with work. As much as I love people, I hate being surrounded by endless droves of people by day.

       So it comes down to one question, "Where do I, a self-professed Christian that has all his energy for everything at night, belong"? It's bad enough that I have that issue with those of my own faith because my political and social views don't coincide with their idea of the norm.