So it's 8/22 at 1:14AM as I write this and I'm just letting my mind wander in thoughts. I might as well let it flow. School kicks back in session on Friday (meanwhile my classes are on Tuesday and Thursday, lucky me) and I've been doing some extra writing. I've also managed to come up with a comic book idea that I'm going to throw at my best friend. It's going to be quite fun! I'm also excited about getting into the rhythm of school again and just doing my thing, while also engaging new friendships and getting back in the habit of gigging on the side. I missed that aspect of my life -- to be a student, worker, great friend and a musician all in one on a more constant basis.
In the process, I've also been moving forward in certain territories but in the process, I got in contact with some familiar faces -- and my heart rests in knowing that they're okay, moving forward in their lives and that there is no animosity between us. It's also good to know that in some of our differences, we also remembered all the good and fun times we had -- let alone also poking fun at each other in good humor in terms of how we are. It's amazing how the power of positive friendships help one's heart heal a little, whereas the poisonous ones cause you to be anything but yourself.
There are things that I can't help but peek behind me about but only due to trying to see the lessons I've learned, yet to learn or learning. I used to just leave some people behind for whatever reason out of the fear of either being eventually hurt or possibly hurting them further. With some people, it's better to do that but then there are the friends you don't leave behind and it's a good thing when you try to keep close with them to a certain degree -- because in the end, they tend to remind you of your strengths and the positive aspects of your personality. Some people are realists -- balancing the positives and negatives, some are pessimists -- always on the negative and then there are the optimists -- always on the positive.
Ideally, we all want to be the idealist or even the optimist. Why? Because dwelling in negativity is like a black hole -- who the hell wants to get sucked into nihilism and melancholy mindset? Granted, optimism can be foolish at times and can make you fly all the way to space and forgetting that there's no oxygen in space. Granted, not everything will be "flower power" bright and sunny but to think of life as dark, gothic and miserable is quite a bit of a dread. It's like Raven from WCW/ECW -- how long are you gonna piss and moan going, "What about me? What about Raven"? Guess what Raven, boo frickity hoo! No one's gonna fix your problems most of the time! You gotta get off your butt and sometimes do things yourself. We can't wait on life, life is waiting on us.
I wanted to thank some very good friends for reminding me of who I am and who I ought to be and in turn, helped me snap from the miserable wreck I was slowly becoming. Many thanks to my family, Brotherhood Of Outcasts, NYC LASE, Pascal, Melissa, Cali, Victor, Joseph, Naila, Ruth, among many. It helps to know that there are people that not only know who you are and what you're capable of but also have a sense of gratitude for who you have been for them in their lives somehow and in turn have a sense of faith in who you're capable of being.
Like a wandering warrior, there are still answers that I seek and answers I wish I could have right away. There are people I wish I can bury hatchets with that are either currently refusing or are unable to do so. It really doesn't matter whose fault it was, just the making of peace is all that matters to me. My ideal has always been to live at peace with everyone so that I myself may be at peace. Being on bad terms with someone has always been one of those things that get at me, especially if it's partially my fault. With those nothing can be done about, I try to just live but with those whom I care about and feel some fault with, those are the sleep depriving ones. You have people who are very family oriented but in my case, I'm very friend-oriented.
I guess I'll close out with this -- relationships come and go but good friends and family are hard to come by -- cherish them because someday either they or you will be gone.
Song of the week - The Tide began to Rise by Demon Hunter
No comments:
Post a Comment