Evaluation

     First off, I wanna congratulate Michelle on gettin' her Associates. It's a step up for her and look forward to her movin' on up. In other news, after almost 25 years, milk and I are getting a divorce. Nesquik, Ovaltine and Bosco, it was great while it lasted. I'm also putting an end to pork, too. My stomach no longer takes it in as I vomited whole boneless ribs Saturday morning.

     All that aside, writing my memoir is so far quite the emotional task. This is due to the emotional and mental scars I'm busting wide open with it. Believe me, talking about how people, your connections with them and how they impact your life takes a toll and it's like re-triggering the feeling. Yet, sometimes like therapy, you gotta do it over until it no longer phases you and you become numb to it.

     In the process,I'm needing to do some thinking and evaluating. To be honest, I need everyone, friends, family and even the ladyfriend to shut the hell up and let me think for myself! I'm tired of everyone giving me their two cents about everything, trying to puppeteer my life and being told what's what like I'm a teenager. Don't expect me to give anyone pure pure in any form if I can't give myself this moment to think, pray and organize. My mind is clouded and my heart is slowly taking a toll with only a ring of hope holding it together. At least that's the picture I see in my mind.

     Meanwhile, I'm gettin' my grind back on with school this fall. I may take it a little slow in terms of how many classes but it'll do in terms of my mental health. I've got some money to save, a brain to feed, needs to be met, more weight to be lost and books to complete.

 I'm also re-evaluating friendships and people. Why? I need to know who's worth keeping around and who's being toxic to me. Your real friends are there whether you're broke or not. People who love you will love you whether you're on the verge of madness or otherwise and will do whatever it takes to get you through. If anyone feels that last one, just say, "ouch!". Love holds no record of wrongs, believes always, trusts always and rejoices in the flowering of truth. That much I can leave with you all for now.